we're blogging at a bar
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
