I want to have your abortion
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
