speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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