i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
