FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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