Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
