i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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