he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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