If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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