It's Friday. Sex?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
