Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize