my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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