glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You are the jesus of drinking
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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