Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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