scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
