It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
that is very illegal...i love you.
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