She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
