I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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