she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize