Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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