This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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