He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My vagina is officially offended.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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