Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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