3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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