I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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