Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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