i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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