Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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