do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
