sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
