Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
