why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
