You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize