Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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