Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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