Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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