youre lurking in front of me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
