New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
