i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Every concussion has its silver lining
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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