Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
