Christians are straight up FREAKS
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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