Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
