at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
