How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
