I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
