Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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