He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
