god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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