Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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