i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
