Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
