You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
