Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
