put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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