it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
