check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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